And a parent who, belatedly, recognising their own precarious position on the very same spectrum, learning how the emotional and physical, reactions, responses,they had exhibited their whole life, were actually symptoms, of a disorder, which had made their early marriage, their youthful upbringing, early attempts at art, performance, so painful, so agonising, as they had tried to navigate the attitudes and actions of others, failing to comprehend the subtle, and not-so-subtle, often hostile and antagonistic, behaviour of these strange beings, called 'people'.
Actually, hit still, by attacks of anxiety; but contrasting with the beauty of intense parental love, real and palpable. To love is to suffer; 'passion' is derived from passio - like the passion of the Christ: despite the movie, a genuine, factual, historical experience, in this space-time continuum. Agony partakes of love, and therefore of the beautiful.
The transcendental value of beauty: the meaning also demonstrates the ugliness of that which hurts. To take us down to the btttom of the well, to feel the loss of separation, to undergo the torture of rejection, of neglect, or being pushed away, even by one who is, uncomprehendingly, in their own darkness. This too is a form, at once Platonic, rational, and also Dionysiac, frenzied and nocturnal, of the Beautiful, of Love, of the Good. Redeem the Past.
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